he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
