shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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