"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
