I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
