we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize