Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
