AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
