am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
