It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
