Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
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i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
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You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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