I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
