i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
