I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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