i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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