Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
God I need to hump something, right now.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
