Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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