either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
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I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
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He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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