I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
