Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?