Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
