Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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