erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
