Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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