What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
