im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
