I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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