Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
