YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
