I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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