Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
