i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
