I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
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