Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I skipped work to stalk him.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
