At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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