Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
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Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
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He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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