I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
