I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
