Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
