so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
