I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Help. Why am I so naked?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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