whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize