what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
