And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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