I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
