OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
