Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
