I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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