You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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