Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
