i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
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THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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