I never want to see another naked old woman again.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
