i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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