that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
