I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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