"it" just moved
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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