Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
