I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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