They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
