I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
