i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
