i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
