i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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