bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
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aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
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KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.