yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
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No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
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And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????