I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
