uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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