Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
