i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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