so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
